This morning, I took the 2 train to Times Square as usual. But the strangest thing occurred. I saw the most annoying man ever. He was wearing an incredibly shabby suit and clutching the New York Time (unfolded, of course). What I noticed most was the very thing he was not clutching: the pole. Consequently, as the train moved, the motion sent him stumbling all over the car. He just barely missed stepping on my feet no less than three times! Finally, I ripped my headphones from my ears and shouted "Hey, Stumblefish! Use the fucking pole! That's what it's there for!" He looked at me with confusion as I began to staple his New York Times to his forehead. He could tell by now that I was pretty upset. Right about then, the MTA police enter the car just looking for someone to harass. And, let me tell you one thing, it wasn't about to be me. I walked right up to the chubby one and said "Hey, Chubbs, having a busy day, then?" I leaned forward and fired a round of squid ink from the carnation attached to my lapels. Chubbs was really upset now. He was still rubbing his eyes and screaming while I jumped up and down yelling "Fare increase THIS, motherfucker!"
Okay, none of this really happened. Well, there was the annoying non-pole-grabbing guy, but the rest was made up. I got a little carried away. Well, anyway, have a nice day.
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