Target and Wal-Mart Merge

In order to compete with the recent merger of Kmart and Sears, Target and Wal-Mart have also decided to join forces. Renaming themselves Tar-Mart, they offer "goods at ridiculously low giveaway prices." The aim, according to spokesperson Perry Frank, is "to show our customers that we care enough about their budgets to employ child labor if necessary." When asked to elaborate, Frank added "We have nothing against child labor. Children are small, they eat less than adults, and there are fewer space issues when we lock them in our stores overnight. So, as long as they don't unionize or request healthcare, I say we're on to a winner here."