We Beg Your Pardon, America: The Death of Oatmeal Man

There was a special monicker for the man who infamously pardonded President Nixon after the Watergate scandal. "We now have Oatmeal Man," said Gil Scott-Heron in his 1975 monologue "Pardon Our Annalysis (We Beg Your Pardon)." "Anytime you find someone in the middle, anytime you find someone who is tepid, anytime you find someone who is lukewarm, anytime you find someone who has been in Congress 25 years and no one ever heard of him, you got Oatmeal Man."

Click here to download the full monologue (one of Gil Scott-Heron's greatest ever).

-Former president Gerald Ford dies [AP]

James Brown Dead at 73

Soul Classics Vol. II was the first record I ever remember hearing. James Brown (along with Sly Stone) was my first musical perception. If you consider how many unique rhythms he and his band have created over the years, some of which spawned entirely new genres of music, then you can hardly deny that he was one of the greatest musical innovators of the 20th Century. His death is a complete shock, especially coming on Christmas morning. We have experienced such tremendous losses in the entertainment industry this year (Jack Palance, Ruth Brown, Robert Altman and Ahmet Ertegun to name a few from November and December alone) that it is almost hard to get upset anymore. But James Brown's music has meant more to me over the years than almost any other artist, and there will never be anyone with his brand of strength and courage. In the 1960's, James Brown was a true independent, a true vanguard in a musical world that marginalized black artists' selling potential as well as their humanity. He remained 100% true to his art at a time when success in the musical mainstream was all about compromise.

Just the other week, my cousin showed me a DVD collection of TV appearances James and the band made on Soul Train. It made me love his music all over again. His delivery was perfect, his energy boundless. But it makes his death that much more of a loss.

Have a Funky Christmas.

Worst Halloween Costumes/Courtney Love

No, this isn't a post about a Courtney Love costume. They can be had wherever female impersonator paraphernalia are sold. This is a classic post from retrocrush.com about bad choices for Halloween costumes. It's pretty hysterical and timely.

Speaking of Courtney, I just saw her on Good Morning America and if she wasn't fucked up, she did an incredible impersonation. Having said this, I would recommend (for the truly brave) going to see Courtney signing her autobiography, Dirty Blonde, tonight at the Astor Place Barnes & Noble, as there's bound to be some kind of assault taking place. Mark my words. Courtney's better than the stock market when it comes to these things.

Punctuation Marks Can Be Very Confusing...

That's why we're uploading this classic clip from Sesame Street featuring Victor Borge's brilliant system for pronouncing puncuation marks. This one goes out to Lynn Hodde, as it ranks among her favorite things ever aired on television (though that's not saying much).

Click on the image to watch. Enjoy.

Vote Maureen Johnson!

Please go here and vote for Maureen's book 13 Little Blue Envelopes. To hell with J.K. Rowling! What has she ever done for you? Maureen, on the other hand, has adopted no less than 25 homeless iguanas. They were abandoned by their respective owners and Maureen was kind, no, saintly enough to take these otherwise hopeless, destitute iguanas in and give them a second chance. She has done the same for several polar bears. Granted, the polar bears ate most of the iguanas, but who knew? Doesn't the thought count for anything? Well, I guess I overestimated the lot of you. I'm shocked and more than a little disappointed. Still, you can make up for it by going here and voting for Maureen Johnson's 13 Little Blue Envelopes.

A Little Touch Of Schmilsson On The Net

Here's a clip of Harry Nilsson from a 1971 BBC special. Here, he sings "Walk Right Back," "Cathy's Clown," "Let The Good Times Roll" and a few others through the magic of pre-After Effects video tomfoolery. Clip courtesy of Bedazzled.

Gilbert Gottfried As David Brenner

This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen Gilbert do, and that's saying a lot. I'm posting it so friends and family don't have to settle for my paltry impersonation of it. Click on the image to view it.

Enjoy.

New "Tickle Me Elmo" Released

Fisher-Price, a unit of Mattel Inc., on Tuesday revealed their new Tickle Me Elmo, called "Tickle Me Elmo: Grand Theft Auto." It a slightly more aggressive Elmo than most consumers will remember. Now Elmo's laughing fits have him slapping his knee, falling to the floor, rolling over and pounding his arm, grabbing an Uzi "so that Elmo can shoot all the ho's and competing drug dealers."

Before Tuesday, the Fisher-Price Web site pictured T.M.X. Elmo only in shadow. Much of East Aurora-based Fisher-Price's own sales staff had not been allowed to see T.M.X. Elmo, even when they pitched it to retailers, "for fear of any drug dealing ho's being gravely injured." Mattel predicts it will be a smashing success, despite the public outcry.

Fisher-Price unveils T.M.X. Elmo [AP]

Special Report: Is The Pope A Fucking Moron?

Pope Benedict XVI, after demolishing a hundred years of Islamic goodwill, refused to apologize for his idiotic remarks, merely regretting that anybody had reacted to them.

His initial statement, a quote from Byzantine Emperor Manuel II from 1391 went something like:

"Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached."

Now, I am neither for nor against Islam (or Catholicism, for that matter). But I am noticing how the Christian religion speaks with increasing intolerance toward, well, just about everybody else on the planet, and it is beginning to scare me. Has a pope ever come out against the IRA and its actions? I'm pretty sure not (Please correct me if I'm wrong. It will genuinely brighten up my day). And yet Benedict can speak so piously about spreading faith by the sword? This not only shows the signs of a closed-minded person, but a piss-poor diplomat to boot. At a time when the world seems closer than ever to apocalypse, you would think at least one religious leader would speak with a level of thought worthy of a true Christian. I think the Catholic Church, despite its failings, deserves better representation, don't you?

Pope Benedict XVI's remarks on Islam unwise and damaging [Jakarta Post]

A Baked Ziti Flashback: The Terrible Secret Of Space

Filmmaker Jonathon Robinson made this eerie animated masterpiece about three years ago and it has continued to resonate throughout the psyches of the masses. I wanted to include it here just in case you haven't yet seen it.

View the Flash file here:

The Terrible Secret Of Space

Tale Of Two Diddys

International Artist & DJ Diddy has successfully prevented Sean "P. Diddy" Combs from using his nickname in the UK. Sean Combs has agreed to drop the Diddy name as part of an out-of court legal settlement with London-based music producer Richard "Diddy" Dearlove, the law firm representing Dearlove said Monday. Don't really have a joke for this one. Kinda speaks for itself.

Diddy can't be Diddy in Britain [AP]

Hey Bachelors: Brad Pitt Is A Genius!

Only Brad Pitt could come up with a politically correct way of avoiding matrimony. This guy not only has a charmed life, he may just have some brains to boot.

God bless him!

Brad Pitt: I'll marry when everyone can [AP]

OK Go on Conan

Last night, OK Go played on Late Night with Conan O'Brien. They were, as usual, fantastic. The drummer loses points for smiling at the camera, but that's nitpicking. Click on the image to watch the video.

Click here to download the performance (referred to by Conan) from the 2006 MTV Video Music Awards where they do an amazing recreation of their "Here It Goes Again" video (the one with the treadmills).

Dave Davies, Vindicated

Fuck Jimmy Page! That's right, you heard me.

Being a long-suffering, ridiculously avid Kinks fan (I even like Soap Opera, for God's sake!), something's been stuck in my proverbial craw for some time now. It has always been rumored (no, insisted upon!) by "rock historians" that Jimmy Page played the famous solos on the Kinks' singles "You Really Got Me" and All Day and All of The Night." Now, I'm not here to defend Dave's guitar prowess, at least not in this stage of his career (you will notice that, though he does play the solo proficiently, Dave does blow quite a few chords along the way. To be fair, Jimmy Page did contribute quite a few rhythm guitar tracks to Kinks classics, and this may be the reason). I am here to give credit where credit is due. This bit of film, in my opinion, proves that Davies himself played both solos (can you tell the two solos apart? I thought so). The prevailing attitude has always been, for some reason, that the solos were far too complex for Dave Davies to have played them. I totally disagree. Though they sound fantastic, they are NOT by any means difficult to play. To my mind, it's just one more thing for Jimmy Page to steal. Perhaps his mistook Dave for Willie Dixon or Jake Holmes? But that's a whole 'nother can of worms.

The Baked Ziti Radio Hour 1st Anniversary Episode!

Can you believe it's been one year already? Well, it's actually been about a year and a month, so imagine how we feel. This is the 1st anniversary episode. It includes all the long-winded self-congratulatory drivel that you've come to expect in an anniversary show. And much more. This is an historic event in that it's our first ever hour-long episode, despite the show's name. Samarra even made a cake for the event (pictured above). The cake was delicious, but you're unfortunately left with the show as your only souvenir commemorating the event.

Click here to download the whopping Anniversary episode (29MB).

At Last, The Dapper Dildo!

Now it can be seen.

"The Dapper Dildo" made its premiere at Anthology Film Archives this Monday. The whole crowd, erect in their seats, gave it a rapturous standing ovation. Actually, we didn't get picked up. But this will not stop us from doing more shows. We crave failure and misery, that's what the others are afraid of! That which drives away other "creative" forces only makes us stronger!

Go here to watch the show (listed as second top failed pilot of the month).

And, as Michael Palin once said, "If you've enjoyed this show just half as much as we've enjoyed making it, then we've enjoyed it twice as much as you."

Peace.

Special Bulletin: The Dapper Dildo Screening

Great news, people! "The Dapper Dildo" will be shown at the Channel 102 screening at the Anthology Film Archives on Monday, August 28 at 8pm. This means that we have a chance to make this show a series. Whether or not the show becomes a series depends on votes cast by the members of the audience on Monday evening. So come one, come all. And vote for the Dapper Dildo so we can make more of them (well, so we have a good enough reason to make more of them. There's certainly nothing stopping us from making more episodes, but you get my drift).

Click here for directions and details. And get there early, as these things tend to get packed pretty quickly.

Jack Palance - "Are You Like Me?"

This is an ad for Prestone II from God-knows-when. It's just so great to see Jack in any setting, isn't it?

Click on the image to see the commercial.

As always, enjoy.

Hiking In Korea

Our friend Nigel Robson has written another report from South Korea. Roving a bit more than usual, Nigel relates how his daily exercise regiment turns into something else entirely, and in the process giving new meaning to the term "walking pneumonia."

Click here to go to the article or visit the "Places" section of this website.

The Baked Ziti Radio Hour: Episodes 34 & 35

Described as "God's Own Podcast" by the Christian Science Monitor, the Baked Ziti Radio Hour continues to delight. This time around, the highlights include:

Episode 34

• Self-induced Blackouts
• Personal Calls At the Workplace
• The Evils of The Electric Jar Opener

Episode 35

• Psychotic Killers Below the Subway (with milk)
• How Not To Raise Children
• Just When IS our One-Year Anniversary Anyway?

Download the episodes here:

Episode 34
Episode 35

The Scariest Man On Local Television?

I'll say no more. Just click on the photo to watch the clip.

Enjoy.

New Travel Journal!

Yes, another travel journal has come our way. This one, written by Kate Mortell, is our all about beautiful Sydney, Australia. We escaped three solid weeks (no exaggeration) of Brooklyn rain for two weeks of uninterrupted sunshine and lived to tell the tale.

Click here to read the journal, or go to our "Places" link on top of the page.

Rod Stewart Returns To Making Mind-Numbing Adult-Oriented Rock

The formerly brilliant Rod Stewart (see Faces) ends his 20-album mangling of The Great American Songbook and has instead returned to stale, turgid cover songs by other artists who haven't squandered all of their talent: namely Bob Dylan ("If Not For You"), Van Morrison ("Crazy Love"), John Fogerty ("Have You Ever Seen The Rain?") and Bob Seger. Well, okay, Bob kinda squandered most of his talent. Have you listened to "Breakdown" lately? Yeesh!

The album "Still the Same," named after the Seger song, will be released October 10, but you know what? Save your money and just buy the Faces boxed set, Five Guys Walk Into a Bar. You'll be glad you did.

And, no, I haven't heard the new album. I'm just psychic, that's all. Trust me.

Rod Stewart's new album returns to rock - [AP]

Just What The World Needs: Another Shitty Unreleased Hendrix Track

In yet another attempt to rob the grave of Jimi Hendrix, Ocean Tomo LLC, a merchant bank that specializes in intellectual property, will be auctioning off a track entitled "Station Break," which was recorded in 1966, prior to Hendrix being discovered by Chas Chandler, who took Jimi to England and teamed him with Noel Redding and Mitch Mitchell. "Station Break" is really just a Curtis Knight record with Hendrix playing guitar on it. There are already hundreds of compilations containing this material that merchants can't give away (though I am partial to Get That Feeling because it contains the sublimely silly "Simon Says," but it is hardly what you would term essential). Why anyone would pay a dime for this track is beyond me.

Really, I'm just trying to drive down the price so I can buy it cheap.

Never-released Hendrix song to be sold at auction - [Reuters]

The Media Funhouse

I'd like to promote two things today. One is a wonderful show on Manhattan Neighborhood Network (aka. "cable access") hosted by Ed Grant called The Media Funhouse. The other is a show that Media Funhouse featured heavily on one of its episodes, Naked City. It was a film-noir detective show that originally ran on ABC from 1958 to 1963 starring Paul Burke and Horace McMahon. It featured a number of up-and-comers such as Roddy Mcdowall, Peter Fonda, Dennis Hopper, etc. The coolest thing about the show is perhaps the backdrop: New York City circa 1958-1963.

I had never heard of this show in my life. I grew up in Philly, and the syndication gods were apparently not smiling upon me in my youth, as this show was never syndicated there (it was syndicated in New York in the early 80's on Channel 5 and never seen on television since). Luckily, Image Entertainment has released these shows on DVD in a somewhat odd manner. They started with one-disc sets that included three episodes each and then moved on to three-disc sets (Vol. 1-3). I know the 3-disc sets include the original commercials (as bonus material, so you don't HAVE to sit through them if you don't want to, which is brilliant); the one-disc sets I'm not sure about yet.

The Media Funhouse currently airs in Manhattan late Thursday/early Friday at 1:30 am on channel 67 on MNN.

In the meantime, here's a clip from Naked City in which Alan Alda plays an extremely snotty beat poet trying to insult a near-comatose Burgess Meredith. That's really all I know (it was a short clip from the Media Funhouse episode; I've yet to see the actual episode), except that I've been driving everybody around me crazy with my impersonation of this scene.

Click here to download the clip.

Enjoy.

The Baked Ziti Radio Hour: Episodes 32 & 33

Here it is again: America(the vocal group)'s favorite podcast! We've broken down the episodes this time around for easier digestion:

Episode 32

• Did Kenneth Lay fake his own death?
• Boris Karloff Sings!
• Why Lung Cancer PSAs are a bummer

Episode 33

• Why it's a bad idea to clone the Baldwin Brothers
• The truth about Jerry Lee Lewis
• Is it Rip Torn or Rip Taylor?

Download the episodes here:

Episode 32
Episode 33

Another Time, Another Place

We have a new addition to our "Places" category. This new entry by Kate Mortell details our trip to Seattle late last year.

Either click "Places" on the main bar, or go here.

Enjoy.

The Greatest TV Theme Song Never?

Some progress to report on the Channel 102 show that my colleagues and I are working on. We've decided on a story of a man and a talking dildo who is sort of a spiritual guide, if you will. Titled "The Dapper Dildo,' we start production next week if not sooner. And I've finished the theme song.

The lyrics go something like this:

I've got a special little friend
He may be made of foam and silicone,
but he sure has made it a happy home

I've got a special little friend
He may look odd but, oh my God
We remain friends until the very end

I've got a special little friend,,,,,


Simple, huh? Wait'll you hear it! Take that, Rembrandts!

Download the song here.

Now Is The Time...

That's right, children. Now is the time for you to vote for your favorite filmfights.com film. Naturally, we wouldn't attempt to persuade you to vote for the film branded "Baked Ziti." That would be dishonest. We only want you to pick the best film of the bunch, which is obviously ours (the one branded "Baked Ziti"). So vote Baked Ziti, America! And don't be afraid!

We love you!!!!

The Baked Ziti Radio Hour: Episodes 30 & 31

In honor of Jack Phillip's recent birthday, we have recorded two new Baked Ziti Radio Hour episodes where we talk exclusively about Jack's favorite things: our personal blogs, our yet-to-be-seen Channel 102 show, and Paul McCartney. It's a laugh-a-minute riot for that one-of-a-kind can't-be-dissuaded radio listener who just can't get enough hyphens in their diet.

Download the episodes here:

Episode 30
Episode 31

We're Back, And We've Made A Film!

That's right, we've branched out even further, spreading ourselves so thin artistically, it's scary! This is the first short film produced by the Baked Ziti core group (in this case: Jack Phillips, Kate Mortell and me). Entitled "The Cradle," it was made to order for filmfights.com. They came up with the title and the genre (suspense; we hope at least).

Download the film here, or just click on the above image.

I will be posting a reminder to vote for this particular film on filmfights.com once it is posted in June 2nd. Until then, enjoy.

Cup O' Neuticles

Proof positive that there is something out there for everyone. During a Sunday outing, it had been brought to my attention that there are such things as "Neuticles." What are Neuticles, you may very well ask? OK, say you're having your dog spayed or neutered. As the theory goes, the female isn't visibly changed much. Ahh, but what of the male? The male dog instinctively feels something's missing right? Now, through the miracle of modern science, this problem can be rectified by applying artificial, realistic-looking implants known as Neuticles.

Neuticles.com is a brilliant site that answers all possible questions concerning these implants. Their site claims:

Over 100,000 caring pet owners Worldwide have selected Neuticles as a safe, practical and inexpensive option when neutering.

Neuticles allowing your pet to retain his natural look, self esteem and aids in the trauma associated with neutering.

I have to be honest. I am a dog owner (though admittedly, she is a female) and even I think this is a little nutty. But the site has a bevy of testimonials from deliriously satisfied customers:

"I've put off neutering "Crooked Joe" for months and when I found out about Neuticles and spoke to them it made me feel better about neutering. Joe not only looks the same now- but dosen't[sic] know he's missing anything."
Jeff Lane
Oak Park, Ill

"He's a guy and I wanted him to remain looking like one."
Lane Hinderman
Metairie, Louisiana

"Baby Snow has all the benefits of being neutered-Neuticles are just a whole lot nicer."
Stephen Samual
Redcliff, KY

"Neuticles were the absolute least I could do."
Glenda Nelson
Spring, TX

Yes, I suppose it is the absolute least we can do.

The Baked Ziti Radio Hour: Ep. 29, Sort Of....

Okay, due to a plethora of technical snafus, we've been forced to short change our public. Episode 29, or the remnants of it (we didn't even bother to include our theme music this time around), is a paltry 20+ minutes. So, in essence, there is no real episode 29 to speak of. However, to compensate for this, we've videotaped a formal apology.

Down "Episode 29" here.

Download the apology here.

Rice Krispies For You...And You...And You!

I'm not one to promote corporate shilling, but since the statute of limitations has long since run out on this particular violation, I'll give it its due praise.

What am I talking about? The Rolling Stones recorded a jingle for Kellogg's Rice Krispies in 1964. It recently popped up on YouTube, so i figured I'd share the wealth. This song, though indeed about nothing more or less than a breakfast cereal, ROCKS! It trumps their last eight albums combined! The fact that they could perform with this much passion for a jingle says loads about what a great band they were at the time.

Enjoy.

The Baked Ziti Radio Hour: Episode 28

In this episode, Jack, Dwight, Jason and I discuss ideas for a internet-only show we'll hopefully be doing for Channel 102.

It's "must see" radio at its finest!

Download episode 28 here:

Episode 28

The Baked Ziti Radio Hour: Episode 27

We're considering this to be Season Two, Episode One (better known as Episode 27), because what else would justfy such an unjustified and unforgivable lapse in productivity? Nothing else, in my opinion.

We hope you enjoy this new season as much as the last one.

Download episode 27 here:

Episode 27

The Iceman Choketh

The PBS American Experience documentary of the life of Eugene O'Neill (do I really need to tell you the name of the director?) combined a synopsis of O'Neill's tragic life with samplings of his work, read aloud by "some of the most gifted actors working in theater today, including Al Pacino, Zoe Caldwell, Christopher Plummer, Robert Sean Leonard, Liam Neeson, and Vanessa Redgrave," or so says pbs.org.

Pacino's reading of Hickey's soliloquy from "The Iceman Cometh" reminds one of Buddy Hackett and Jerry Lewis suffering a collective aneurysm. I felt I had to include a clip of this to show just how far the mighty have fallen. If you don't walk away from this clip holding your head and screaming "This is SO BAD!," then your opinion means nothing to me. As for Eugene O'Neill, he is not only rolling over in his grave, but has reportedly resumed drinking in excess after seeing this particular mangling of his work.

To be fair, Christopher Plummer, who read a long passage from "A Long Day's Journey Into Night," was absolutely brilliant. Liam Neeson fared little better than Pacino, but then nobody expected much. The others were fine, and overall, I would still recommend the documentary highly, even though it's in that annoying (and totally played out) Ric Burns style. Go here to read more about it.

But first, go here to download the video of Pacino's clip. You won't be sorry.

Hard Up For Work?

Apparently, when Heidi Fleiss decides to go legitimate, she goes all the way, so to speak...

The website for her new business venture, Heidi Fleiss' Stud Farm, a "farm" exclusively for the benefit of females ("There will be no male to male sexual services offered," the website claims), has the following verbiage above its e-application form:

Thank you for inquiring about Heidi's stud farm in Crystal Nevada.

Heidi's Stud Farm will be a new structure and has NO connection to the defunct Cherry Patch Brothel or its owner [ed. well, thank God for that!].

This is a brief overview of what to expect. This establishment will hire men to service women.

We will hire 20 men and 10 on stand-by. Lady customers will be charged $250.00 an hour that will be split 50-50 to the house. Men will be able to keep all tips. They will be charged a weekly rate for a housekeeper, room, board, and food. Weekly tests for STDS and HIV are mandatory. Employees will register for a work card with the sheriff's department.

We wish Heidi all the best, given the hard time she's had in the past (tee hee).

Many thanks to Linda Nelson for the tipoff.

Will It Float?

The good news: Dubai Ports World has announced it will transport its American ports business to a "US entity"

The bad news: The "US Entity" will be Halliburton Industries.

Well, you can't win 'em all.

- US: DUBAI COMPANY ENDS PORTS ROW WITH TRANSFER TO AMERICAN FIRM [AND Kronos International]

Bird Flu Kills Cat

....although Curiostiy is being sequestered in Germany for the time being.

-Bird Flu Found in Cat in Germany [Yahoo! News]

Spot The Looney

Mel Gibson has already proven himself to be a total psychopath with his recent behavior (his recent interviews made him appear as if he were about to scratch fleas). However, I think this recent finding crosses a line. Check out the trailer for his latest feature film, Apocalypto. About three quarters into it, there is a flash frame with Gibson posing with his fellow extras, sporting a positively demented expression.

Full credit goes to Michael Sciddurlo for successfully "spotting the looney"

Here's a link to the trailer. See if you can spot the looney:

Go here to see the trailer.

The Baked Ziti Radio Hour: Episode 26

Ever wonder what really scares us? Ever wonder where Leah's name really comes from? Ever wonder how to prevent aliens from abusing your shower? All this and more awaits you in episode 26. The cast this week includes me (Gene Cawley), Leah Averre, Suzie Gallehugh, Maureen Johnson, Kate Shaeffer and Jason Keeley.

Download episode 26 here:

Episode 26

The Baked Ziti Radio Hour: Episode 25

We're back again. Yes, another episode of the Baked Ziti Radio Hour for you cats and kittens to sink your teeth into. This time around, we have an actual topic: James Frey. Yeah, I know the whole Million Little Pieces thing is sorta beat into the ground, but we have decided to talk about it anyway, 'cause we love a challenge!

Download episode 25 here:

Episode 25

Yes, Virginia, There Is An Evil Grimace!

Last week, Jack Phillips and I were talking about Grimace of McDonaldland fame. He said he remembered that Grimace had once been an evil character with six to eight arms long before he had been turned into a sort-of mutant Ed Wynn. Naturally, I laughed uproariously about this, thinking perhaps too much LSD had been present in Jack's life, until today when he came up with actual proof in the form of the above picture with a caption that reads:

"The Evil Grimace Ronald knows is round and purple and has big toes. He carries shakes in every hand as his scurries through McDonaldland."

Pretty heady stuff. After seeing this, I did some more research, but not as much as Stay Free Magazine, who did this amazing report about the goings on in McDonaldland's marketing department. It's truly incredible.

Go here to see video of the Evil Grimace.

Countdown To Sly?

Will he show up? Smart money may say "no," but I'm hoping against all hope that he will arrive at the awards tonight prepared to do some of that inimitable Sly damage.

As of now, there are no confirmations that Sly or the band will perform. The only confirmation so far is from Recording Academy spokesman Ron Roecker, who admitted that Stone will be in attendance.

So at least that's something.

-All Grammy eyes on Sly [mp3.com]

The Baked Ziti Radio Hour: Episodes 23 & 24

We like to call it Manifest Destiny Radio. Is it because of a belief in our heart of hearts that we, the Baked Ziti Radio Hour, provide this great nation with a message - no, make that a manifesto - which arms our disciples with a truth akin to that of the sharpest daggers? No, we just like how it sounds.

Though our numbers are few (reduced to just me, Jack, Dwight and Jason on these two episodes), we still refuse to sit quietly and eat our sprouts like the good children you wish we were. We're going directly for the pie and the cookies, and there's absolutely NOTHING you can do to stop us!

Download the episodes here:

Episode 23
Episode 24

Michael O'Donoghue Quote Of The Day: #5

Well, this one's not a quote exactly. It's a sound clip of Michael from 1973 doing a famous bit for the National Lampoon Radio Hour. It's his famous impersonation of Ed Sullivan. Though he would later revamp this bit many times (he "impersonated" Tony Orlando, Mike Douglas and Elvis Presley in much the same way on SNL), this is still my favorite version.

Here it is:

What If Ed Sullivan Were Tortued?.mp3

Go here for (yet) more Michael O'Donoghue info.

Polce State Of The Union

This kinda disturbed me a bit. This is the first I'm hearing about this incident with Cindy Sheehan, and it is in the form of the U.S. Capitol police apologizing for her unlawful arrest due to her sporting an antiwar t-shirt at the House Of Representatives right before Bush's State Of The Union Address. Why did the original story of Sheehan's arrest not make the news? It seemed as though the Capitol police had ample time to respond to the incident - and assess the damage - before it made any major news source. Am I nuts?

Either way, Sheehan was not the only person harassed by the Capitol police on the night of the speech:

Capitol Police Chief Terrance Gainer also apologized to the wife of a House Republican who was told to leave the chamber during Bush's speech for wearing a shirt bearing words of support for U.S. troops.

Rep. Bill Young of Florida had condemned the treatment of his wife, Beverly. Young, who chairs the House Appropriations defense subcommittee, said on the House floor his wife was called "a demonstrator and a protester" for doing what Bush had asked of Americans: supporting U.S. soldiers serving in Iraq.

Sheehan was attending the speech as the guest of Rep. Lynn Woolsey, a California Democrat. In a speech on the House floor, Woolsey said Sheehan wore a shirt that highlighted the number of dead U.S. soldiers in Iraq. "Since when is free speech conditional on whether you agree with the president of the United States?" Woolsey asked.

"How can we claim to be fighting on behalf of freedom around the world, making the world safe for freedom when we are smothering freedom here at home?" she said.

Yeah, Woolsley's a bit melodramatic, but she has a point.

Capitol police apologize to activist Sheehan [Reuters]

Has Oscar Gone Wilde?

Well, this year's Academy Awards are bound to be viewed as a deliberate slap in the face of our current political climate. The reason? Three out of five nominees for Best Picture have homosexual males as their focal point

• Brokeback Mountain tells the story of two cowboys who "form a lifelong bond" (No spoilers here)
• Capote is a film about Truman Capote, a well-known (spoiler alert!) homosexual
• Good Night, and Good Luck prominently features footage of Sen. Joseph McCarthy. (No spoilers here either; everybody knew that one)

Is this a sign of a brave new Hollywood, one that refuses to buckle under the weight of our current administration's dogged intolerance, or does Oscar simply adore gays? Either way, it's as close as the entertainment industry can come to true rebelliousness, and I applaud it on those principles. I mean, they even have a man in drag up for Best Actress.

The List Of Nominees [oscar.com]

There's A Rumor Goin' On!

Okay, this is a pretty huge VCR alert (if it actually happens, that is). A little birdie that calls itself the Washington Post has told me of a possible Sly & The Family Stone reunion during the 2006 Grammy Awards on February 8th! Already scheduled is an all-star tribute to Sly & the Family Stone featuring John Legend, Maroon 5, will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas and Steven Tyler of Aerosmith, among others, performing a medley of Sly classics. In my opinion, even Sly at his worst is better than any of these people at their best; there's no way that Sly could be made to look bad in this sort of company. Hell, Sly not showing up (as was his habit during the majority of his performing career) is more entertaining than these people on a good night.

Either way, if the alleged reunion happens, it will not only be the first public appearance for Sly since being inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 1993, it will also be the first time that the original lineup (including Larry Graham, Cynthia Robinson, Gregg Errico, Jerry Martini, Rose Stone and Freddie Stone) has performed since 1971. This is potentially HUGE!

-Sly Stone's Surprise [Washington Post]

Oprah: Out Of The Frey-ing Pan?

You know, Oprah, I don't mind you ripping into James Frey, he certainly had it coming. But when you yell at my close personal friend, Nan Talese, YOU'VE CROSSED THE LINE, SISTER! How dare you lecture her about it being her responsibility to categorize Frey's book as either a novel or a memoir? Who are we kidding? Ask yourself one question: who sells more books, you or Doubleday? The answer is obvious. I think you had every bit of a responsibility to your audience to fact check this yourself. You certainly have the staff. Someone drove all of those damn free cars you give away like candy to strangers!

That's all I have to say. I wish you well in your future endeavors. I have no more mock outrage to give.

- Oprah Winfrey: 'I Feel Duped' [NewsMax]