Cup O' Neuticles

Proof positive that there is something out there for everyone. During a Sunday outing, it had been brought to my attention that there are such things as "Neuticles." What are Neuticles, you may very well ask? OK, say you're having your dog spayed or neutered. As the theory goes, the female isn't visibly changed much. Ahh, but what of the male? The male dog instinctively feels something's missing right? Now, through the miracle of modern science, this problem can be rectified by applying artificial, realistic-looking implants known as Neuticles.

Neuticles.com is a brilliant site that answers all possible questions concerning these implants. Their site claims:

Over 100,000 caring pet owners Worldwide have selected Neuticles as a safe, practical and inexpensive option when neutering.

Neuticles allowing your pet to retain his natural look, self esteem and aids in the trauma associated with neutering.

I have to be honest. I am a dog owner (though admittedly, she is a female) and even I think this is a little nutty. But the site has a bevy of testimonials from deliriously satisfied customers:

"I've put off neutering "Crooked Joe" for months and when I found out about Neuticles and spoke to them it made me feel better about neutering. Joe not only looks the same now- but dosen't[sic] know he's missing anything."
Jeff Lane
Oak Park, Ill

"He's a guy and I wanted him to remain looking like one."
Lane Hinderman
Metairie, Louisiana

"Baby Snow has all the benefits of being neutered-Neuticles are just a whole lot nicer."
Stephen Samual
Redcliff, KY

"Neuticles were the absolute least I could do."
Glenda Nelson
Spring, TX

Yes, I suppose it is the absolute least we can do.