Soft Machine

This is the happiest looking band EVER. Am I right. folks?

Maureen Johnson IS John Green

Apparently, author John Green has taken an extended leave of absence from his Nerdfighting activities to have a baby. So rather than having Hank vlog himself, the two brothers decided to have YA author Maureen Johnson fill in for John until his return. They couldn't have made a better choice. Maureen also graciously asked me to come up with some music for her "Actual John Green" song.

Download the "Actual John Green" song here.

Enjoy.

About A Trapeze

This is a YouTube video featuring my friend, Maureen Johnson. She is forced to take a trapeze lesson after losing a bet with the internet. It's entertaining, thought-provoking and horrifying all at the same time.

Anyway, she asked me to write a song to accompany the video of her trapeze lesson. This song (which I cleverly titled "Trapeze") took me 20 whole minutes to write and record, so you all had better love it. Maureen was kind enough to show the words on the screen, as I'm not always so hot when it comes to musical enunciation.

Hope you enjoy it.

Stevie Wonder Visits Sesame Street, 1973

To honor the 40th anniversary of Sesame Street, I am posting a fairly rare clip of Stevie Wonder from 1973. Stevie opens the show, performing an alternate Sesame Street theme song that should have immediately toppled the already existing one, in my opinion. But, no! They kept that "Sunny Day" monstrosity instead. Whatever.

Let's go back together to a time when performers apparently sang into microphones strongly resembling night-lights and owned genuine Orange amplifiers. A glorious time, indeed.

Click on the image to watch the video. The file is about 20MB, so be patient; it's worth it.

Eric Charden - Pas Question?

My DVR is slowly dying, so I am going to have to erase all the media that I've been hoarding for the past three years. The shows I hate to lose the most are all the episodes of New York's greatest public access show ever, Media Funhouse, starring Ed Grant. However, I am going to try to post a few pop-culture tidbits from the show that I simply cannot part with.

This clip is Eric Charden singing a song titled "Pas Question?". Chances are, you've never heard of him. I know I hadn't when I watched this Media Funhouse episode featuring Charden on a French television variety show hosted by Tom Jones in 1966. The fuzz bass line is absolutely killer, and I guarantee you'll be singing along to this one in due time. That it is sung in French matters not, my friend. Trust me.

Click on the image to watch the video. Enjoy.

Meanwhile, you can catch Media Funhouse on MNN's Channel 57, Saturday nights at 1am (though technically, it's Sunday morning).

Stamp Out The Beatles

I want to voice my misgivings about the soon-to-be-released boxsets of The Beatles: one in mono, one in stereo.

The Beatles In Mono is "limited," though EMI will not say definitely to what extent, and lists for $299. The Beatles In Stereo lists for $259.

Now, I don't know what economy EMI are living in right now, but I would not even consider buying either one of those for anything near that price. I would consider, say, $75 for each.

For those of you asking "why mono?", The Beatles' monophonic mixes differ greatly from their stereo counterparts, and have been unavailable since late 1968.

Let me give you an idea of how outrageously priced these sets are. Recently, there was a boxed set of the 13th Floor Elevators titled Sign Of The 3 Eyed Men released on the tiny International Artists label. Here's a video of all its contents:



Lovingly compiled by long-time fan and biographer Paul Drummond, the sound is as good as it's ever gonna get for these guys. Previous CD releases have sounded comparatively horrible. It is absolutely limited to 4,000 copies. The cost? US$158 including shipping (it ships from the UK). Knowing a thing or two about manufacturing and shipping, I would assume that a corporation as monolithic as EMI would be able to finagle a more reasonable price than, say, International Artists. The cost to EMI for manufacturing and shipping each boxed set ain't anywhere near three hundred bucks, limited or not.

So, I'm calling "bullshit" on EMI's extortionary prices and so should you. No way would John Lennon or George Harrison endorse these practices. They'd be listening to the 13th Floor Elevators boxed set. They really would.

Ellie Greenwich, Dead at 68

Even if her name doesn't ring a bell, you've almost certainly heard her music.

With her husband, lyricist Jeff Barry (as well as with producers Phil Spector and George "Shadow" Morton), Greenwich co-wrote an amazing number of hits. Here are but a few:

"Chapel Of Love" - The Dixie Cups
"Be My Baby" - The Ronettes
"Then He Kissed Me" - The Crystals
"Da Doo Ron Ron" - The Crystals
"River Deep - Mountain High" - Ike & Tina Turner
"Leader Of The Pack" - The Shangri-Las
"I Can Hear Music" - The Beach Boys
"Hanky Panky" - Tommy James and The Shondells
"Do Wah Diddy Diddy" - Manfred Mann

Ellie Greenwich died on August 27th of a heart attack at St. Luke's Roosevelt Hospital in midtown Manhattan.

Although not very well known, this is my favorite version of "I Can Hear Music" by Larry Lurex, which is actually Freddie Mercury, Brian May and Roger Taylor recording under a pseudonym. The three, after recruiting bassist John Deacon, were soon to release their first album, Queen.

Click here to listen to the song.

- Ellie Greenwich, `Chapel of Love' co-writer, dies [AP]

Rest In Peace, Teddy

Though we never got to know what sort of President Edward Kennedy would have been, we certainly got to know him as a senator. After 46 years as Senator of Massachusetts (a record broken only by Senators Robert Byrd and Strom Thurmond) he worked tirelessly on political reform, especially healthcare reform. The fact that we may now be on the cusp of the most radical healthcare reform in several decades must be somewhat bittersweet to the Kennedy family, its reform being, in Ted's words "the cause of my life."

Diagnosed with brain cancer in May 2008, Ted nevertheless looked more healthy in the past 15 months than he had in years, at least on television. I was, perhaps foolishly, optimistic about his recovery based largely on his appearance. I guess I'm easily fooled when I want to be.

Kennedy's political life was forever changed by two events: Chappaquiddick in 1969 and, ironically, Sen. Robert Byrd's successful attempt to unseat Kennedy as Senate Majority Whip in January 1971. Though the defeat was embarrassing and painful at the time, Kennedy would later tell Byrd that the defeat was a blessing, as it allowed him to focus more on issues independently from the Democratic party framework. Kennedy became chair of the Senate subcommittee on healthcare and played a leading role with Jacob Javits in the creation and passage of the National Cancer Act of 1971.

Politically, Kennedy never fully recovered from Chappaquiddick. It pretty much ensured that no attempt at the presidency would be successful. In 1974, in its "Encyclopedia Of Humor," National Lampoon ran the following copy (written by Anne Beatts) in its mock Volkswagen ad:

If Ted Kennedy drove a Volkswagen, he'd be President today.

It floats.

The way our body is built, we'd be surprised if it didn't.

The sheet of flat steel that goes underneath every Volkswagen keeps out water, as well as dirt and salt and other nasty things that can eat away at the underside of a car. So it's watertight at the bottom.

And everybody knows it's easier to shut the door on a Volkswagen after you've rolled down the window a little. That proves it's practically airtight on top.

If it was a boat, we could call it the Water Bug.

But it's not a boat, it's a car.

And, like Mary Jo Kopechne, it's only 99 and 44/100 percent pure.

So it won't stay afloat forever. Just long enough.

Poor Teddy. If he'd been smart enough to buy a Volkswagen, he never would have gotten into hot water.

As cruel (and, let's face it, brilliantly funny) as the joke is, it illustrates how Ted has been perceived unfairly as a public joke, politically speaking. Perhaps history will treat him more kindly.

- Edward Kennedy, Senate Stalwart, Dies [New York Times]

Ron Asheton Dead at 60

Well, here's another bummer announcement.

Ron Asheton, guitarist for The Stooges and Destroy All Monsters was found dead at his home in Ann Arbor, Michigan on Tuesday and appeared to have been dead for several days before the police found him.

I think I speak for at least hundreds of people (mostly guitarists) when I say that Ron's guitar playing had a pervasive influence on punk and post-punk music, second only to Pete Townshend's. Ron's playing would have been legendary even if his sole output was "TV Eye," a song from the Stooges' 1970 album, Fun House, and one of my favorite riffs of all time.

I wanted to share this with you. It's an outtake of "TV Eye" (take 7, I believe) with an introduction featuring Iggy Pop impersonating an evil wrestler who's admiration for the Stooges almost rivals mine. It's a great performance all around. Enjoy it.

Click on the photo to listen.

- Stooges guitarist Asheton found dead in Michigan [Reuters UK]

Rock Massacres, Vol. 7: Pete Townshend

This extremely rare massacre took place in 1974 while The Who's Pete Townshend was rather long-windedly waxing poetic about the positive attributes of Rock Music. Interviewer Melvyn Bragg, usually possessing a keen eye and ear for journalistic detail, swears to this day that this mishap never occurred. Well, as much as I admire Bragg as a journalist, I must respectfully disagree here, as the footage clearly tells the tale.

As for Townshend, he was so inebriated during this interview that he didn't realize what had happened until The Who started assessing footage to be used in The Kids Are Alright almost three years later (The Who, perhaps mercifully, opted not to use this part of the interview for the film).

Click on the image to view the footage. Enjoy.

Rock Massacres, Vol. 6: Paul McCartney

There have been many rumors over the years about Paul McCartney being dead. There is recent evidence that contradicts the popular belief that Paul was killed in late 1966 in a car crash. Judging by this rare footage from early 1967, Paul was being interviewed by the BBC, talking rather incoherently, when tragedy struck. Take a look at the footage and judge for yourself.

Click on the image to view it.

Barack Obama Voted President-Elect

Well, I gotta say, this is even more of a shock than the Phillies winning the World Series, only because there are so many more ways to lose an election than a baseball game. This really fell into the "I'll believe it when I see it" category.

I just want to thank all of you out there for getting out and voting. I haven't felt this great about the future in a long time. Both McCain's concession speech and Obama's acceptance speech were delivered with the kind of grace and mutual respect that has been missing in American politics for far too long.

Thanks for being patient with my political rants of the past two months. I promise not to write about politics again, at least not for a month or two. From here on, it will mostly be the trivial nonsense you've become accustomed to when reading this blog. I promise.

- Obama rides wind of change to historic victory [Reuters]

Phillies Win World Series

Well, I guess I might as well let the cat out of the bag: I'm secretly from Philadelphia. I'm not ashamed of it; it's just never come up before.

The Phillies, for the first time in 28 years (and, yes, I was very much alive when it happened) have won the World Series for a second time. I can hardly believe it.

I really don't want to say anything else in case I jinx it (there's still time).

- Fightin’ Phils are World Series champions [Philly.com]

McCain's RoboCall, pts. 1-4

Here are the transcripts of the latest McCain-RNC robocalls about Bill Ayers, abortion, Hollywood and (yet again) Bill Ayers. Click on the links to listen to the calls:

Call #1:
"Hello. I'm calling for John McCain and the RNC because you need to know that Barack Obama has worked closely with domestic terrorist Bill Ayers, whose organization bombed the U.S. Capitol, the Pentagon, a judge's home and killed Americans. And Democrats will enact an extreme leftist agenda if they take control of Washington. Barack Obama and his Democratic allies lack the judgment to lead our country. This call was paid for by McCain-Palin 2008 and the Republican National Committee at 202-863-8500."

Call #2:
"I'm calling on behalf of John McCain and the RNC because you need to know that Barack Obama and his Democrat allies in the Illinois Senate opposed a bill requiring doctors to care for babies born alive after surviving attempted abortions -- a position at odds even with John Kerry and Hillary Clinton. Barack Obama and his liberal Democrats are too extreme for America. Please vote -- vote for the candidates who share our values. This call was paid for by McCain-Palin 2008 and the Republican National Committee at 202 863 8500."

Call #3:
"Barack Obama and his fellow Democrats got caught putting Hollywood above America. On the very day our elected leaders gathered in Washington to deal with the financial crisis, Barack Obama spent just 20 minutes with economic advisers, but hours at a celebrity Hollywood fundraiser. Where are the Democrats' priorities?"

Call #4:
"Barack Obama and his fellow Democrats aren't who you think they are. They say they want to keep us safe, but Barack Obama said the threat we face now from terrorism is nowhere near as dire as it was in the end of the Cold War. And Congressional Democrats now want to give civil rights to terrorists."

And here I thought the negative campaigning was over. Someone should alert the McCain campaign that a very unfriendly robot is saying all of these horrible and untrue things about his opponent. I'm sure he'll put an immediate stop to it once he's found out.

-Palin Dismisses Powell Endorsement, Won't Reject Robocalls [ABC News]

McCain Campaign Links Barack Obama to The Velvet Underground

In yet another desperate attempt from the McCain-Palin ticket to discredit Barack Obama with half-truths, Sarah Palin, speaking to a crowd in Jacksonville, Florida, Palin said the following:

"Well, gee whiz, according to the Buffalo Courier-Express, Barack Obama was heavily involved with a group calling itself the Velvet Underground. I mean, I don't know about you, but I hardly think this type of behavior is the kinda Country First kinda attitude that someone who wants to be our president should be behavin' like."

This statement was followed by loud boos and jeers from the crowd. But here are the facts that the McCain-Palin campaign may be unaware of, or simply omitted:

FACT: The Velvet Underground were a musical ensemble from the late 1960's and not a terrorist group (further proof of McCain being somewhat out of touch).

FACT: Obama was four years old when the Velvet Underground formed in 1965.

FACT: Obama never met any members of the group personally, though he and Lou Reed briefly shared an accordion teacher in the mid-1980's. Both have since abandoned the accordion.

FACT: The Buffalo Courier-Express ceased publication in 1982.

To make matters worse, the above picture was released to the Associated Press. A pathetic, preposterous hoax, it supposedly shows Obama standing just to the right of guitarist Sterling Morrison in a 1967 group portrait.

You Don't Need a Weatherman To Know Which Way the Wind Blows

I am becoming completely disgusted with the McCain campaign's recent attacks on Barack Obama concerning his alleged connections with William Ayers, a former member of a radical group called the Weather Underground. Obama was eight years old when Ayers participated in the bombings of New York City Police Headquarters in 1970, the United States Capitol building in 1971 and The Pentagon in 1972 in reaction to the Vietnam War. And even now his "connections" only go as far as living in the same district with him, and campaigning for educational reform together about three years ago.

McCain himself has significant connections to U.S. Council for World Freedom, an offshoot of the radical World Anti-Communist League, who supplied aid to guerrillas seeking to overthrow the leftist government of Nicaragua in the Iran-Contra affair. The U.S. Council for World Freedom has been linked to former Nazi collaborators and ultra-right-wing death squads in Central America. The group was dedicated to stamping out communism around the globe.

McCain resigned from the group in 1984, by which time he had little choice due to the impending Iran-Contra scandal.

Good piece of information, no? Why don't more people in the "liberal media" mention this? Hopefully, that will change if McCain persists in linking Obama to Ayers.

-McCain and the U.S. Council For World Freedom [Washington Monthly]

A Full Day's Supply Of Racial Stereotyping

I have to say that I am almost rendered speechless by this, though I shouldn't be all that surprised.

At the Family Research Council's annual Values Voters Summit in Washington, D.C. last weekend, the above souvenir was being sold. It is a box of waffle mix depicting a decidedly racist image of Barack Obama lovingly eyeing a stack of waffles, reminiscent of this particular bit of marketing. And for a topper (literally), there is this image of Obama in a turban (you know, just in case FOX News lets you forget for a fraction of a second that Barack's middle name is Hussein) with an arrow that reads "Point Box Toward Mecca For Tastier Waffles."

Hi-larious, no? Well, believe it or not, some humorless folk were actually offended by this exciting new product. Even the members of the Family Research Council issued this statement condemning the product. What's become of free enterprise, I say?

Apparently, the creators of the product, Bob DeMoss and Mark Whitlock, once worked at Focus on the Family. Gives you a warm fuzzy, doesn't it?

I really have nothing new to add to this story; I just wanted to point it out because most likely the mainstream media won't be anytime soon. And I wouldn't want this bit of "harmless satire" to go unnoticed.

Breakfast of chumps - [Los Angeles Times]

Credits of the Day: Entertainment Tonight

Think you're under appreciated? Try working for these guys. Yeesh.

Click on the image to see if you can spot the name of one of your loved ones. The smart money says you can't.

The Second Greatest Jingle Ever?

Over three years ago, I named what I felt was (and is) the greatest jingle in advertising history. I stand by my choice 1000%, but now I think I may have the second greatest jingle of all time. Trouble is, most of you won't remember it, unless you are my age (and I'm not divulging that bit of info). It's an old PSA for the Boy Scouts of America that aired way back in the 1970's (yeah, the boy scouts were around even at that point in time). Anyway, the jingle is a wonderful slab of Ides of March-meets-Jesus Christ Superstar meets, etc, etc. In short, wonderfully, if woefully inappropriately, funky and memorable. Also, I adore old TV ads that try to seem futuristic and instead give us a hilarious glimpse of how Neanderthal everything was, technologically speaking (check out that Colossus computer). Musically, I doubt that the whole of our current Top 40 houses as many musical hooks as in this 20-second ad.

Many, many thanks to MSTS1 for posting this on YouTube. I've been searching for it pretty much since YouTube's inception.

Enjoy. Click on the image to play the video.

Jesse Helms Dead at 86

To celebrate July 4th, I won't say anything nasty about the late Senator Jesse Helms: I'll have Howard Stern do it for me. This clip from 1994 concerns Jesse Helms' comments that "President
Clinton is not my commander-in-chief." Helms went on to say that if Clinton visited North Carolina, he'd better bring bodyguards. In the midst of this controversy, Helms was being considered for Chairmen of the Committee on Foreign Relations, a job Helms was eventually awarded, despite his comments.

One ironic remark is made in this clip. At one point, Stern suggested giving the Chairmanship to Larry Harmon instead of Helms.

Larry Harmon, much-loved creator of Bozo the Clown, died yesterday at age 83. At least will he will be sorely missed.

Click on the image to hear the clip. Happy 4th of July.