Gilbert Gottfried As David Brenner

This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen Gilbert do, and that's saying a lot. I'm posting it so friends and family don't have to settle for my paltry impersonation of it. Click on the image to view it.

Enjoy.

New "Tickle Me Elmo" Released

Fisher-Price, a unit of Mattel Inc., on Tuesday revealed their new Tickle Me Elmo, called "Tickle Me Elmo: Grand Theft Auto." It a slightly more aggressive Elmo than most consumers will remember. Now Elmo's laughing fits have him slapping his knee, falling to the floor, rolling over and pounding his arm, grabbing an Uzi "so that Elmo can shoot all the ho's and competing drug dealers."

Before Tuesday, the Fisher-Price Web site pictured T.M.X. Elmo only in shadow. Much of East Aurora-based Fisher-Price's own sales staff had not been allowed to see T.M.X. Elmo, even when they pitched it to retailers, "for fear of any drug dealing ho's being gravely injured." Mattel predicts it will be a smashing success, despite the public outcry.

Fisher-Price unveils T.M.X. Elmo [AP]

Special Report: Is The Pope A Fucking Moron?

Pope Benedict XVI, after demolishing a hundred years of Islamic goodwill, refused to apologize for his idiotic remarks, merely regretting that anybody had reacted to them.

His initial statement, a quote from Byzantine Emperor Manuel II from 1391 went something like:

"Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached."

Now, I am neither for nor against Islam (or Catholicism, for that matter). But I am noticing how the Christian religion speaks with increasing intolerance toward, well, just about everybody else on the planet, and it is beginning to scare me. Has a pope ever come out against the IRA and its actions? I'm pretty sure not (Please correct me if I'm wrong. It will genuinely brighten up my day). And yet Benedict can speak so piously about spreading faith by the sword? This not only shows the signs of a closed-minded person, but a piss-poor diplomat to boot. At a time when the world seems closer than ever to apocalypse, you would think at least one religious leader would speak with a level of thought worthy of a true Christian. I think the Catholic Church, despite its failings, deserves better representation, don't you?

Pope Benedict XVI's remarks on Islam unwise and damaging [Jakarta Post]

A Baked Ziti Flashback: The Terrible Secret Of Space

Filmmaker Jonathon Robinson made this eerie animated masterpiece about three years ago and it has continued to resonate throughout the psyches of the masses. I wanted to include it here just in case you haven't yet seen it.

View the Flash file here:

The Terrible Secret Of Space

Tale Of Two Diddys

International Artist & DJ Diddy has successfully prevented Sean "P. Diddy" Combs from using his nickname in the UK. Sean Combs has agreed to drop the Diddy name as part of an out-of court legal settlement with London-based music producer Richard "Diddy" Dearlove, the law firm representing Dearlove said Monday. Don't really have a joke for this one. Kinda speaks for itself.

Diddy can't be Diddy in Britain [AP]

Hey Bachelors: Brad Pitt Is A Genius!

Only Brad Pitt could come up with a politically correct way of avoiding matrimony. This guy not only has a charmed life, he may just have some brains to boot.

God bless him!

Brad Pitt: I'll marry when everyone can [AP]

OK Go on Conan

Last night, OK Go played on Late Night with Conan O'Brien. They were, as usual, fantastic. The drummer loses points for smiling at the camera, but that's nitpicking. Click on the image to watch the video.

Click here to download the performance (referred to by Conan) from the 2006 MTV Video Music Awards where they do an amazing recreation of their "Here It Goes Again" video (the one with the treadmills).

Dave Davies, Vindicated

Fuck Jimmy Page! That's right, you heard me.

Being a long-suffering, ridiculously avid Kinks fan (I even like Soap Opera, for God's sake!), something's been stuck in my proverbial craw for some time now. It has always been rumored (no, insisted upon!) by "rock historians" that Jimmy Page played the famous solos on the Kinks' singles "You Really Got Me" and All Day and All of The Night." Now, I'm not here to defend Dave's guitar prowess, at least not in this stage of his career (you will notice that, though he does play the solo proficiently, Dave does blow quite a few chords along the way. To be fair, Jimmy Page did contribute quite a few rhythm guitar tracks to Kinks classics, and this may be the reason). I am here to give credit where credit is due. This bit of film, in my opinion, proves that Davies himself played both solos (can you tell the two solos apart? I thought so). The prevailing attitude has always been, for some reason, that the solos were far too complex for Dave Davies to have played them. I totally disagree. Though they sound fantastic, they are NOT by any means difficult to play. To my mind, it's just one more thing for Jimmy Page to steal. Perhaps his mistook Dave for Willie Dixon or Jake Holmes? But that's a whole 'nother can of worms.