The Second Greatest Jingle Ever?

Over three years ago, I named what I felt was (and is) the greatest jingle in advertising history. I stand by my choice 1000%, but now I think I may have the second greatest jingle of all time. Trouble is, most of you won't remember it, unless you are my age (and I'm not divulging that bit of info). It's an old PSA for the Boy Scouts of America that aired way back in the 1970's (yeah, the boy scouts were around even at that point in time). Anyway, the jingle is a wonderful slab of Ides of March-meets-Jesus Christ Superstar meets, etc, etc. In short, wonderfully, if woefully inappropriately, funky and memorable. Also, I adore old TV ads that try to seem futuristic and instead give us a hilarious glimpse of how Neanderthal everything was, technologically speaking (check out that Colossus computer). Musically, I doubt that the whole of our current Top 40 houses as many musical hooks as in this 20-second ad.

Many, many thanks to MSTS1 for posting this on YouTube. I've been searching for it pretty much since YouTube's inception.

Enjoy. Click on the image to play the video.

Jesse Helms Dead at 86

To celebrate July 4th, I won't say anything nasty about the late Senator Jesse Helms: I'll have Howard Stern do it for me. This clip from 1994 concerns Jesse Helms' comments that "President
Clinton is not my commander-in-chief." Helms went on to say that if Clinton visited North Carolina, he'd better bring bodyguards. In the midst of this controversy, Helms was being considered for Chairmen of the Committee on Foreign Relations, a job Helms was eventually awarded, despite his comments.

One ironic remark is made in this clip. At one point, Stern suggested giving the Chairmanship to Larry Harmon instead of Helms.

Larry Harmon, much-loved creator of Bozo the Clown, died yesterday at age 83. At least will he will be sorely missed.

Click on the image to hear the clip. Happy 4th of July.

New Woodstock DVD in the Works?

File this under "exhaustive." Allegedly, an 18-DVD set is in the works featuring more of the "Woodstock Festival of Peace Love and Flowers" than ever. The new release, tentatively titled The Motherfucking Director's Cut, is a limited edition boxed set containing all three days worth of music, interviews, nudity and mud. It clocks in at just under 72 hours, covering absolutely everything recorded on August 15th to 18th, 1969. Here are just some of the highlights:

• Max Yasgur's speech, mercifully brief in the original film, now clocks in at just over 63 minutes.
• There is so much of The Band's set that you get to witness Robbie Robertson sing an acapella version of "Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Daughter"(a rarity, to be sure).
• You get to see the Who play Tommy in its entirety twice "merely for the opportunity to beat up Abbie Hoffman for a second time," said the Who's Pete Townshend.

But the real kicker is Santana's "Soul Sacrifice," again, a true highlight in the original film. But this version is so long that you actually have to change discs to view the whole thing, as evidenced by the featured clip. Personally, even I think this release may be too much of a good thing.

Click on the image to view it.

Rock Massacres, Vol. 5: Van Morrison

Today's massacre features one of the all-time greats, in my humble opinion: Mr. Van Morrison. The "song" he is singing here, simply known as "Thirty Two," comes from a one-day session at Bang Records in 1967 where Van spontaneously creates 31 songs in order to get out of his recording contract. It's a hoot and a holler, believe you me.

WFMU's Beware of the Blog not only provides some more detail on the subject, but streams all 31 songs for your listening pleasure. I especially recommend "Ring Worm" and "Want a Danish" for starters.

Click on the image to view the video.

Rock Massacres, Vol. 4: John Cale

Here's the latest massacre, and this time the honor goes to Mr. John Cale. Now, you at home may be asking "Why would you do such a thing to John Cale? I thought you liked John Cale." And it's true, I do. But these massacres aren't intended merely to punish substandard artists (except for Robert Plant; that was intentional), they are more a kind of love letter in the form of a brutal stabbing or beheading. As Noam Chomsky would say: "To truly love your idols, you must first depict them being horrifically slaughtered in some way, perhaps in a 30 second web-based video, just off the top of my head." I'll tell you, that Chomsky was a true prophet.

I should also point out that the image used is from an old vinyl compilation called Guts, which came out in 1977, a full three years before an enormously popular slasher film. Yeah, that John Cale was a true prophet.

Click on the image to view it.

Rock Massacres, Vol. 3: David Bowie

Here's the latest installment of Rock Massacres. This time, it's David Bowie's turn. Now, you may accuse this of being an inadvertent piece of commentary on Bowie's chameleon-like artistic nature which has allowed him to sustain a career for decades without entirely forming a concrete artistic identity. If ever he should discontinue adopting the "masks" of other artists, you may argue, he would artistically cease to exist.

I know that's what you're all thinking. Oh, don't try to deny it. It's perfectly natural to draw parallels like this.

But the truth is, I was just trying to be funny. And isn't laughter the greatest gift of all? No? Damn, I honestly thought it was. Sorry. Try to enjoy it anyway.

Click on the image to view it.

Rock Massacres, Vol. 2: Peter Gabriel

Well it looks as though this might become a series after all. Massacring rock stars is fun stuff. This one utilizes Peter Gabriel's second album cover in a way that makes me uncomfortable. But I'm easily made to feel uncomfortable. You'll notice that I sound uncannily nothing like Peter Gabriel, but this shouldn't prevent you from enjoying this bit of fluff.

Enjoy. Click on the image to view it.