Someone Up There Like Us!

In this age of intolerance masquerading as morality, what better for all you sinners out there than a doomed claymation boy and his demonic talking dog? That's right, Davey & Goliath are back on the air. After 30 years, the Lutheran church is reviving the 1960s-era animated series for a holiday special, "Davey & Goliath's Snowboard Christmas," on the Hallmark Channel Dec. 19. In this episode, Davey makes a snide reference to Jesus "not being so great". In response, Goliath convinces Davey to die for everyone's sins by electrocuting himself with a vintage toaster.



Actually, the story involves Davey demonstrating his snowboarding skills to two friends: Sam, a Jewish boy, and Yasmeen, a Muslim girl. Each of them discuss how they celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah and Ramadan, respectively. Yasmeen wins the snowboarding race in the end, a symbol of her god simply being better.



But seriously, Art Clokey, the show's creator, has expresssed concern that the message that God loves all people has been lost amid more judgmental religious fare.

"The church wanted it to be about love and tolerance, and that's not the face of Christianity in America," he said. "In the '60s and '70s, Christianity was more of a liberal faction. There are still millions of liberal Christians who go to church, but they are not represented on TV anymore."

Agreed. From almost all vantage points, this is a most welcome return.

Melt The Press, Vol 1. : 12/10/04

- On the set of Meet The Fockers, Barbra Streisand has reportedly used so much Botox that the world’s supply of botchulism is now depleted.



- Apparently, the American soldiers stationed in Iraq weren't supposed to ask the Secretary of Defense actual questions about defense. Rumsfeld was "set up" by Chattanooga Times Free Press reporter Edward Lee Pitts, who coached soldiers to ask Secretary Rumsfeld (gasp!) relevant questions.



- Apparently, Lindsay Lohan lip syncs. It's not like anyone's really being fooled here. Let it go, people.

Everybody, Tommy Chong Tonight!

Tommy Chong will be appearing in "The Marijuana-Logues" starting Tuesday, December 7th.



In May 2003, the actor-writer-director pleaded guilty to conspiring to sell drug paraphernalia. Chong also pleaded guilty on behalf of his business, Nice Dreams Enterprises, which made a line of marijuana bongs and pipes. He spent nine months in jail, but that hasn't stopped him from reuniting with his former comedic collaborator. The U.S. Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen has added a special Cheech & Chong reunion to its lineup, the festival taking place February 9-13, 2005. Also, tentative plans are being made for the first full-length film since 1984's Corsican Brothers.



"The Marijuana-Logues" features Chong at New York's Actors Playhouse through Dec. 19.

Attack Of The Monster Thickburger

My cousin pointed this out to me yesterday. I guess this post is a companion piece for my Pulitzer Prize-winning Taco Bell expose from months past. Didn't these people watch Super Size Me? Don't they know that too much of this beef and pork stuff causes hypertension, diabetes, impatient cow syndrome, the gout and other bad things?



Part of me loves the idea of this product, because I side with the underdog as a reflex, and I must admit in myneck of the woods, Hardee's is definitely the underdog. Also, this type of enormous meal has become the underdog, though undeniably for the good of the planet. I guess Hardee's figures that no self-respecting lawyer is going to file a class-action lawsuit against lil' ol' them, so why not give the people what they want, even if they shouldn't have it? You have to admit, it's almost always good marketing to go against the tide, especially if appears to be a better value.



The good news is, I've heard through the grapevine that Charlize Theron will gain 200 pounds and perform between two sesame seed buns in order to play the title role in the film Monster Thickburger, which Hollywood insiders are already dubbing "a classic sandwich".

Down At The Poetry Club

The reading party for Gamers: Writers, Artists, and Programmers on the Pleasures of Pixels Saturday night at Bowery Poetry Club was an amazing success. Katie Degentesh, Shannon Holman, K. Thor Jensen, Luis Jaramillo, Mark Lamoureux, Daniel Nester and Mauren Thorson all turned in fabulous readings. Drew Gardner did an absolutely wonderful sound piece using sampled audio from a game called Gravitar (I've never heard of it either). Very Eno-esque and gorgeous. Dan Nester and I performed some musical comedy numbers, much to the delight of a mysterious fellow that I dubbed "Doctor Who" because of his long coat and even longer scarf (I'm only glad no one was injured). As Dan, Maisie and I were leaving, he stopped us to say how funny we were, and that he was on mushrooms. Let me say that I certainly would not have wanted to witness our act while on mushrooms, so I think this likely lad deserves more than a little praise. Especially given that the sound man was operating the soundboard in very masturbatory fashion, pushing the reverb levels to a uniquely dangerous level. Had Tom Ridge been on the job, he'd have raised the reverb threat grade by at least a few Pantone colors.



All in all, a wonderful evening. If you haven't yet, buy the Gamers book. It's, as they say in Sweden, "a book." A terrific fun read as well.

Do Yourself A Favor: Go To Doug's Art Show

When I say that you should go see Doug's artwork tomorrow night at Madarts, it's truly for your own good. As you can see, Doug is not above scare tactics (and I can tell you firsthand that they're not merely tactics). Let me put it this way: your head may not be a pecan pie, but it's not far off either. Capeesh?

Date: Saturday, December 4, 2004
Time: 8:00 pm til ???
Location: 255 18th Street, Brooklyn (bet. 5th and 6th Ave.)
Refreshments: Definitely
Nearest Subway: R or M at Prospect Avenue

Miss it at your own risk.

TV PIX is Back! Sorta....

Check it out, cats and kittens! TV PIX is online. Sure, it's not quite the same, but take a look.